What is desistance? 

• Desistance is when a person who previously identified as transgender comes to term with and learns to accept their biological sex before subjecting their body to hormonal or surgical interventions.

​​What is detransition?

• ​Detransition is the cessation or reversal of the medical and surgical intervention of a transgender identity, often as part of the acceptance of the reality of one’s biological sex.

What is “gender identity?”

• ​Activists define “gender identity” as “one’s own internal sense of self and their gender, whether that is man, woman, neither, or both.” This is a circular definition with no meaning. Most people do not claim to possess a “gender identity.” 

What is gender dysphoria?

• ​Gender dysphoria is defined as the “distress a person feels when their “gender identity” does not match their biological sex.” We believe that gender dysphoria is a manifestation of underlying distress. Gender dysphoria is a symptom like fever is a symptom. It is well documented that the underlying distress is often autism, sexual abuse or other trauma, internalized homophobia, peer influence or social contagion, anxiety and depression, among other possibilities. Those are the issues to address.

What is gender expression?

• ​Activists promote the idea that if a person doesn’t conform to societal stereotypes this might be a sign that they are transgender. We cannot think of a more stunning reversal of the progress that has been made over the last half-century than to tell gender non-conforming kids that the easy fix for their normal anxieties around puberty is drugs and surgeries. We think “gender expression” is just personality. There is no right or wrong way to be a boy or a girl.

What does it mean to be transgender?

• ​Transgender is not a state of being that is innate, inherent, or immutable. It’s a set of behaviors that a person chooses to engage in based on the ideological belief system that it’s possible for someone to have a “gender identity” that doesn’t match their biological sex. There is no coherent definition of “gender” other than its use as a polite term for biological sex, such that there could be an incongruence between someone’s “gender identity” and their physical body. Transgenderism could more accurately be called sex denialism.

What is cisgender?

• ​Activists use cisgender as a term to describe people whose “gender identity corresponds to their biological sex.” Most people do not believe they possess a “gender identity” and therefore reject this term.

Is my child really transgender? Is anyone?

• ​There are some people who say they are transgender. There are adult men who say they “feel like a woman”, teenagers who express distress about their bodies, and parents who claim to know their young son is transgender because he likes the color pink, or their young daughter is transgender because she like trucks. These situations don’t have very much in common. We know that being transgender is not an inherent, immutable state because of the existence of desisters and detransitioners. This suggests that the adoption of a transgender identity is a maladaptive coping mechanism for distress.

Do some people have a mismatch between their brain and their body?

• ​Activists claim that research shows that some people have a woman’s brain in a man’s body or vice versa. There is no such thing as a brain/body mismatch. Biological sex is contained in every cell in our bodies, including our brains. By definition, a brain in a male body is a male brain and vice versa.

Should I affirm my child's trans-identity?

• ​Parents have a responsibility to speak truthfully to and about their child. The truth is that no one is born in the wrong body and people cannot change sex. We do not believe it is helpful to anyone to pretend otherwise. Imagine if your daughter had anorexia, and perceived her body as fat even though she was dangerously thin. Would you encourage her to lean into her belief? Would it be wise to tell her she was fat, or that she might need liposuction or gastric bypass surgery? This same principal applies to trans-identified people. It simply doesn’t make sense to affirm psychological distress with physical interventions.

Is my trans-identified child at risk for suicide?

• ​The threat of suicide is used to coerce parents into accepting dangerous and radical interventions for their trans-identified children. The only research that exists on the link to suicide shows that co-existing mental health challenges, which are very common in trans-identified young people, not a transgender identity, explains the elevated risk for suicidal behavior. Thankfully, this risk is still very low. Parents must use their best judgment in evaluating their own child’s risk for suicide.

Should I take my child to a "gender" specialist?

• ​We know there are reasonable and compassionate professionals who work with gender questioning youth; some of us have benefitted from their guidance. However, professionals who practice “gender-affirming care” are almost by definition ideologically driven. We do not advise taking your child to a gender clinic. We caution parents to be very careful when selecting a non-affirming mental health professional. Although a child’s announcement of a trans-identity can catch a parent off guard, we encourage parents to remember that you are the expert on your child. No one loves or cares for a child more than their parents. Parents are best suited to provide loving guidance to their child.

Why do kids take on a trans identity?

• ​Since 2015 there has been an exponential rise in the number of young people claiming a transgender identity. Although activists claim that this is because societal acceptance allows people to live openly, there is mounting evidence to suggest that the rise is due in part to peer influence and social contagion. It is well documented that online forums and communities, social media influencers with millions of followers, and real-life friend groups entice vulnerable children into trans-identities. Sometimes children adopt a trans identity as a maladaptive coping mechanism for distress. And, trans has become part of the youth subculture. It is today’s version of goth, emo, and punk.

Should I call my child their requested name/pronoun?

• ​For parents of a trans-identified child there is a balancing act between maintaining a healthy relationship with your child, while still holding the line of truth and reality. We caution parents against using requested pronouns that don’t match your child’s biological sex because research has shown that social transition can lock in the identity. Many parents just avoid using pronouns with their child. Some parents compromise more on the requested name, and some choose to use a nickname or “pet” name of endearment.

How do I know if my child is desisting?

• ​Desistance is often a two steps forward, one step back process, and can include periods of “boomeranging” in and out of the identity. We have found that occasionally a child will announce that they’re no longer “trans”, but more often, desistance happens quietly. You might notice your child talking less about being trans, seeking a different social circle, or a change in clothing and hairstyle. In our experience, kids don’t want to discuss their desistance in great detail. Some feel embarrassment and regret. Most just want to get on with their lives.

How can I help my child desist?

• ​In our experience it is not possible to simply talk a child out of a trans-identity. Presenting facts and information does not seem to be effective. Sharing stories of desisters or detransitioners seems to backfire, because the child responds by saying that those people weren’t really trans, like they are. Parents have found the most success in strengthening the relationship with their child. This opens the door to building trust and opportunities to plant seeds of truth. Parents have success discussing associated topics with their child, like the opioid crisis, the Flat Earth movement, and the Recovered Memory scandal, to encourage critical thinking. Get outside in nature. We recommend interactions with your child to be full of curiosity and compassion.

How can I improve my relationship with my child?​

• ​Having a trans-identified child can be incredibly challenging. One silver lining of hope is that because the situation requires such intentional parenting, some parents report that their relationship with their child has never been stronger. We encourage parents to not make every moment with your child about “trans.” Find activities you and your child enjoy doing together. Show affection. Get outside in nature together. Promote trust and mutual respect.

What more can parents do to safeguard their kids?

• ​Kids today have very different childhoods from previous generations. A lot of this has to do with the advent of cell phones, social media, and the internet. Parents must be very aware of the influence these can have on their kids. We recommend parents stay vigilant about screen time, and internet and social media use. Do what you can to promote open dialogue with your child, so they feel able to come to you with questions and concerns, both big and small. Work to remain a loving, positive influence in your child’s life.

Should I be concerned about CPS?​

• ​Unfortunately, yes. Child Protective Services (CPS) is the state agency responsible for the investigation and intervention in cases of child abuse and neglect. It seems surreal that parents have to be worried about being investigated by CPS for simply telling the truth about biological reality, or for not going along with their child’s self-declared identity. But parents, including some of us, have actually had that happen. We cannot provide legal advice, but we recommend that parents become familiar with their rights and seek help as needed.

• What if Child Protective Services Comes Knocking on Your Door​

  • ​"Depending on your state of residence Child Protective Services can get involved if you do not affirm your child's gender identity."

• 12 Steps to Protect Your Children from Child Protective Services

  • ​"Unless there are emergency circumstances, social workers do not have a right to enter your home without a signed warrant by a judge. If you are contacted by CPS, it is important for you to be informed of important actions you should take before a social worker enters your home or questions your children. Fill out the form below to download this free resource – 12 Steps to Protect Your Children from Child Protective Services."

• How To Protect Your Children from Being Kidnapped by CPS

  • ​"If you are a parent, CPS is your darkest enemy. They exist in order to kidnap your children for profit (they get paid by the federal government to do so), and to do everything in their power to destroy your family in the process. And, they are very good at it! They have been incredibly successful at accomplishing both of those goals."